Friday, January 16, 2009

Therapy Session: Gia (rockluvIII)

Ahhh Gia, we can go one of two ways with the clichés here…

Scenario A: Maybe daddy didn’t hold you enough, resulting in this need to expose one’s self to gain the attention of a man you barely know. Did you barely know your father? Did he pay more attention to your brother? Possibly causing him to lean towards the homoerotic tendencies as he played grab ass in the locker room with his fellow football teammates. After all, daddy never wanted a little princess, now did he? Nor did he want his milkmaid dressed in clothing clearly the size of your mother’s fine linen napkins reserved for special dinner guests. You do realize that insufficient clothing can cause the body’s immune system to weaken due to fighting off infection from various forms of germs contacted through bare skin? Let alone the possible yeast infections or UTI’s you could contact if (I shudder to think it) you weren’t wearing the proper lady garments.

Scenario B: Perhaps daddy held you too much? As in, inappropriate ways and no, that is NOT an acceptable form of tickling; thus creating daddy issues that seem to befall the all too common stereotypical plague placed upon women who take their clothing off in a form of attention. Tsk tsk, I’m sorry dear; I’m not implying that YOU are a stripper; because we all know strippers get paid. You however, just strip to be an exabitionist cray cray loony on television, going after a man who’s been quoted to don the fineries of European hair extensions. Do you think your grandmother is spinning in her grave? Of course she is dear…

Next session we’ll discuss how you let another woman put a test tube filled with alcohol into your vaginal cavity for her to intake. Just because a vagina passes new life into the world, doesn’t mean you should take “drinking from the cup of life” to a whole new level.

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