Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Nikki, Rock of Love III, examination...

Rock of Love is a guilty pleasure for me…one of which makes me realize that roaming out into the public eye armed in 6” stripper heels, skirts flirting to expose the virginal lady bits only God and my future husband will enjoy, and over inflated breasts of watermelon proportions; are not what I need to hook myself a decent specimen of a man...but an aging rocker scum bag hell bent on finding a woman who won’t care if he brings an extra set of implants, piercings or bucket size vag to the bedroom. Prince charming he is not.

Bret seems to have weeded out a good handful of boring misses on the show within the first two episodes; and frankly, thank the blessed cheese gods of this fact cause this show is here to make me feel BETTER about my life…While there seems to be a solid handful of ladies on this show that would be labeled ‘hot mess’; there is one that would take the prize, nay, shall I say CROWN for hot mess…Queen Hot Messitribialadysomethingorother…I must confess, she was my favorite of all seasons and dare I say it…messier than Daisy plastic contraption doll of yesteryear; a single tear feel and my guts cried for mercy when she was let go in the first episode...where she sat, alone, unable to walk in her intoxication long after the set had cleared:

(Aka, DJ Lady Tribe, import model, LA street tagger)

Why do you find yourself face first in troth of booze? Apparently this horse can be led to water and drink the whole damn lake. Do you feel like you are hiding behind its gift of liquid courage? I have the pleasure of knowing you from the import car realm, modeling, DJ’in and your life as an L.A. tagger…you are no stranger to being in front of the public eye and the affections of men(and women), no matter how douchey.

Yet for some reason booze was your ally. I cannot remark as to what brought you to this stage in life…Oh sure, I can throw out the old clichés that all therapists and would be know-it-alls like to use…abuse, searching for love to fill a hole one or both parents created, troubled youth, or maybe all of the above and whatever else you can throw in a bucket mixed with Vodka and dash of anti psychotics.
You were prized above all else in this hodgepodge of you were ducky enough to insert a vile of alcohol into another woman's vaginal cavity to greedily consume into your ready mouth...makes me think of one with a fancy for a of both words?

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