Monday, May 18, 2009

Self-Indulgent Nostalgia,or really old email

Subject: The Dark Knight – Imax

Anna: Want to go Weds night, 7:45 showing?

Nathan: Would like to, have LSAT class.

Anna: Whatevs

Nathan: *sigh *

Anna: *rolls eyes*

Nathan: *glares *

Anna: *surreptitiously drinks the rest of your G&T*

Nathan: ** befuddled by lack of gin, looks suspiciously at you **

Anna: *quietly fills glass with water & salt*

Nathan: * *brazenly steals your drink * *

Anna: *...of lukewarm, watered down vodka tonic*

Nathan: ** unhappy with course of events, yells something inappropriate to change subject **

Anna: *apologizes to the waiter who has walked over to ask for quiet & covertly orders a gibson on Nathan's tab*

Nathan: * nods to said waiter that I know on a first name basis because I'm always at this freaking bar, gets drink comped, asks bartender to make Gibson "special" by adding blue curacao *

Anna: *quickly drinks your G&T again*

Nathan: *laughs at how red-faced you now are *

Anna: *pops anti-asian glow pills & enjoys that blue caracao gibson*

Nathan: * gets another drink, takes shot at bar, holds drink in hands while glowering *

Anna: *accidentally spills blue caracao gibson on Nathan's vintage shirt*

Nathan: *basks in the glow of synthetic fabric*

Anna: *watches the obscure vintage synthetic fabric fuse to chest rug, resurrecting the old hair sweater of college days. Cries*

Nathan: ** wonders if sweater wounds will ever heal **

Anna: *hair sweater venom causes permanent, angry scars. Drinks Nathan's scotch*

Nathan: * cries gin tears *

Anna: *gathers tears, bottles them & sells tear gin on ebay*

Nathan: ** feels stupid for not drinking own tears **

Anna: *rolls around in $100$ $dolla$ $bills$*

Nathan: ** grumpily enjoys a chance to drink **

Anna: *insists on going to IHOP where I will refuse to eat*

Nathan: *eats whatever you ordered *

Anna: *makes you lose your appetite by dry heaving at the table*

Nathan: * *unfazed, continues eating chocolate pancakes nom nom nom nom * *

Anna: *swishes mouth with your water, finishes your last bite, gets chocolate chip in front teeth & starts hitting on the clearly annoyed & gay waiter*

Nathan: ** wonders why still sober and belly hurts **

Anna: *(BURP) wonders why no one loves me*

Nathan: ** looks at watch, discovers it's only 9pm, asks if we should get more drinks **

Anna: "ZigZag!" *passes out in car on the way there*

Nathan: ** mulls over leaving passed out Anna in car on Western while getting a drink at the Zig Zag **

Anna: *fakes sleep in order to take car out on joyride*

Nathan: ** has Murray make something awesome to make up for the impending car crash **

Anna: *Joyride ends 50 feet from ZigZag when car crashes at 5mph into a hummer. Wakes up & staggers to ZigZag. Orders bourbon*

Nathan: * * feels like night is just getting started, orders another, thinks hummer story is hilarious * *

Anna: *at a loss to explain what happened to car or why knuckles are scraped up & bloody*

Nathan: ** watches anna bleed, thankful have not yet been kicked out **

Anna: *86'd*

Nathan: * * curses your name * *

Anna: *nirvana achieved*

Nathan: *grudgingly concedes your victory*

Anna: *pats your enormous frizzy head*

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