Can you imagine what her nethers look like?!

Women work hard to have sleek beautiful non fly-away hair that reflects that of a thousand suns blinding prospective prey (read: men [or ladies; I don’t judge]) in the process. Shit, Anna’s hair alone begs me to pet its soft soft exterior whenever I’m within arm’s length of her, whether she likes it or not! We subject it minimal washings, hot oils, expensive shampoos, styling aids and heat implements; all to make it look like we were blessed with a mane of a Greek Goddess of sex appeal.

This is why this young lady confuses me. Lets ignore the fact that its a progression of puff the magic dragon…from the hair to the eyebrows to the dead animal. It’s making me think of a dandelion that I’d really like to blow on a make a wish for one of the following: end global warming, improvement of our current economy, or hot steamy sex with the bearded tattooed boy I’ve been eyeing for months now.

I’m sure she is a very hip youngster, defying the laws of modern fashion trends and walking her own line of rebel. Alas, I am waiting for her in a dark alley with relaxer and a soft bristle brush. Put your opinions of my snarky sandy vagina aside….cause you have to admit, this hair needs to be tamed